Letting Go Of Grown Children

I have had conversations with several adults lately that are going through the adjustment of letting go of their adult children. This is quite a challenge!! I myself have been adjusting to my 20-year-old being out of my home and making life decisions daily without me. The Lord has worked through this adjustment with me and it has actually been freeing. There are moments that I am concerned, but I just stop and give him to God.

I find that as I talk to other parents, the thing that really causes them anxiety and frustration is taking responsibility for their grown children's actions. The Bible says in Proverbs 22:6 to train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. I have always taken this to mean that they may wander a bit, but if you have trained them they will come back to what they know. It doesn't say, they will never make a mistake. It doesn't say that they will listen to every word you say along the way.

I looked up the word "train" in the Strong's Concordance and the Hebrew word chanak, (kaw-nak') which means to initiate discipline, dedicate or train up was used in this instance. So if you have disciplined your child, given instruction in right and wrong, and dedicated them to God, you have done your job. This is so freeing!! Know that it may not have been perfect, yes, we all make mistakes, but you did all that you could. Now it is up to the child, now an adult, to take that knowledge and do the right thing. Are you still a parent, of course!! But not responsible for their mistakes. You are not supposed to fix everything. Pray and give that child to God. That doesn't mean that family is not there to give encouragement, support, and advice when asked. It simply means that they are the ones responsible for the decision and whatever comes after the decision. Trust that God is able to lead and guide your offspring to His path. He can give them wisdom just like He does for you. If you trust God, then trust that He can lead, guide, and protect, your child.

This leads to another topic, control. See the relationship section for my latest post on the subject.

When it's time to let go