Growing Pains

I am here to share my journey and those "nuggets" that God gives me as I go. I find myself feeling a bit like this picture but it's not what you think. I have been the single mother of two sons for quite some time now. They are 18 and 23. While technically "grown" we find ourselves in a transition period. Transition is a perfectly natural part of life, as humans, we go through several expected transition periods, childhood to adolescence is a difficult time for most, adolescence into adulthood another, early adulthood into middle-age, and moving into the retirement years. These mark significant parts of life that can cause stress, confusion, an adjustment in thinking, expectations, and mindset.

Again my sons are "grown" for all intents and purposes by law, but they are still growing their wings. I had quite an interesting revelation within the last two weeks. I love my sons very much and enjoy their company (sometimes...LOL) but it was brought to my attention by The Lord that this transition as they become adults is exactly like pregnancy.

How, you say? Well, just like pregnancy, and the timing is so funny, in the 8th and 9th months many women are so tired of being pregnant that they start counting the days to the birth of their baby. NOT because they don't love them and enjoy caring for them, but because their bodies say it is time for that separation.

Most women enjoy pregnancy up to this point, unless illness and complications are an issue. I myself have never made it to full term but I can understand this concept. Even the perfect pregnancy comes to a stage where the mother is ready for her mother/child relationship to have a different dynamic. She wants to see her child, hold it, and enjoy it in new ways.

The mother is feeling physically tired, and overstretched by the third trimester and the baby too is going through a process. He/she has been comforted by her mother's heartbeat, body sounds, voice, and the warm, snug environment provided by her womb, but soon he begins to outgrow the space. His quarters begin to feel more cramped than snug and he stretches in an effort to make more space....the mother feels all of this stretching and it adds to her readiness for the baby's time of birth.

Funny, the same feelings occur when the child reaches roughly 17-19 years of age (not unlike that 7-9th month of pregnancy). The child begins to outgrow the confines of the parent's boundaries and home feeling the need to stretch out and do new things. The parent feels this stretching and with the added challenges of parenting teens into adulthood, becomes frustrated, tired, and even uncomfortable at times. This is not something to feel ashamed of. This is a natural transition.

if the mother and baby did not come to the place of birth both physically and emotionally as a consequence there could be feelings of separation, anxiety, and sorrow. But when the time has come, both baby and mother are ready for a new phase of life.

When you are helping your children, now young adults into their early adult life if you didn't feel uncomfortable in some ways, and if they didn't feel the need to stretch they might not move into adulthood as an independent person. Having the emotional need to give them space and for them to take more space is needed, even though it is painful.

Pregnancy is painful but well worth the blessing of the child. So is raising a healthy, independent adult. It is painful at times, but worth seeing them grow into who they were created to be. God calls us to teach them and our hope and prayer are that they will be productive, God-fearing adults that add blessings to society and bring more of heaven to earth.

Draw comfort from the fact that even God's first children acted out and defied authority. Adam and Eve learned the hard way that their Father knows best. We want to shield our children from all harm and prevent them from having to learn the lessons we did the hard way. But, they have a road to travel and thankfully they have God to lead them.

Lean into God and trust the process. Keep praying and take the opportunities that you get to enjoy this transition watching your son/daughter become independent. Don't let the hard times take you down. Letting go can be a challenge but God has them.

Love you all,

Charissa